So been awfully quiet for a long time again but I got an explanation for that. Been feeling really crap and have not felt up to posting anything in here at all.
I dont know if everyone know, I have told a few but far from all, but I suffer from bipolar disorder. I have my good times and my bad times. Then I got my really really bad times and during those I kind of disappear. I am choosing to tell this now cos them maybe some will understand what is going on and what happens. Some will of course not get it at all but that not really my problem. If you dont want to understand then dont.
Most people understand or atleast try to, they ask and I explain best I can. What I hate the most though is the ones that say things like "snap out of it" or "but today is another day" and so on. I'm sorry but if it was that easy, believe me, I would not be feeling like I do at times.
It is impossible to be positive at all time for me. So snap out of it yourself!
Sometimes I think I should have gone into acting cos I surely deserve an Oscar for the role I've been playing most of my life. I have managed to fool everyone including myself!!
Am ranting here I know but am kind of high on some painkillers that I got for my knee that I managed to hurt a while ago.
My plan as it looks right now is to either stay at my crappy job (hoping to change that soon) or get another one. Do my operation feb/march next year and then start planing for a move north.
Thats how it looks at the moment...
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